From Dating to a Relationship*

When you start dating, and I don't know about guys, but us girls think about many different scenarios. We wonder about what would happen if we never meet anyone, what would happen if we meet someone and it just doesn't work; if we do and they turn out to be a complete psycho after a couple of weeks. Well, we also consider how bad it could be if we fall head over heels for someone and they just don't feel quite the same.. thus leaving the majority of the 'serious' decisions up to them.

So when you do meet someone after talking to them from a site such as Oxfordshire Dating Site, or meeting them through a friend. Knowing whether you're just crazy for someone or if you actually like this person and are crazy too; is pretty damn important.

Everyone is a fan of being crazy about one another, that feeling of being completely overcome with feeling and emotion. Where you have no control of how you act, how you react and all you do from one moment to the next with each other. We all love that feeling, but it never lasts, at least not as strong as it did, to begin with. 

Time passes and as it does so will the shine of that crazy feeling, that's the time to decide whether you want to really commit to this person. Be the type of person that wants to really be with someone and want to like them even when they're driving you nutty, with the look to become utterly devoted in whatever way you both decide. Being crazy for one another is great, but it's unstable, anything unstable will ultimately never lead to a healthy anything. 

In my personal opinion, the main issue these days with these are the values we hold. Many of the younger generations do not seem to understand the value of loyalty, in turn, the middle-aged generation has also turned off their sense of value and morals. It seems as though my generation (yes I suppose I am middle-aged now), has set out a bad set of guidelines for the younger. With apps such as Tinder, Happn and Bumble, (I suppose Grinder for those that way inclined),  have created this aura that it is ok to swipe right. To go from one person to the next, as soon as you are not happy anymore, something just doesn't work or fit just right.. move on to the next. 

The thing is, committing to something more, taking the initiative to decide what you want to want, want to like, lends yourself to a fuller future. I absolutely love the quote from an old married couple - "We were born in a time, where if something was broken you fixed. You didn't just throw it away." 

Dating can be so much fun, but let's be honest, most of us who are dating are doing it for something more. So why not look at it all without rose-tinted glasses, go in completely bare and be surprised what you'll find.

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

Dating in Real Life*

So let's be honest, with so many chick flick movies and fluffy TV-shows these days it's no wonder we live in a world of false ideals. One where we have this notion of a perfect first date, meeting under the stars or some bull cacky. Followed by a whirlwind of sparkling emotions, hand in hand strolling down the beach with the sunset in the distance. The night ending with a mind-blowing all-knowing kiss, that will ultimately lead your sealed fate of a long-lasting easy peasy, never to waver relationship.

Do you see that massive bubble? I am going to pop it now.... That is NOT how life or really strong relationships work! You may be one of the lucky ones, who get to experience what is for them "the perfect date", which may possibly be followed after meeting from some dating sites such as Belfast Dating Site, but you are truly kidding yourself if you think things will be completely and utterly butterly smooth sailing from there. That is unless you live in dreamland with rose-tinted glasses, which you never remove.

In real life dating and relationships are hard work, especially the ones that are special, being with someone you actually want to be with means that you will both have to work hard to keep your relationship and make it stronger. Have you ever heard the saying - Anything worth having, Never comes easy. Once those rose-tinted glasses slip, the highlight reel is worn out, you start to see the little things that niggle you. Some more serious issues may arise, which again could prove easier to ignore or walk away from - when it comes to it though, talking things through and finding common ground with a shared agenda will always last.

I am not saying that two completely incompatible people should keep trying to be together regardless, because, well that would just be ridiculous! What I am saying is that, if you truly know that you fit, that when push comes to shove and you have to make the choice to leave or stay. You are pulled back to stay, not out of fear or worry of what would happen if you left; but because you honestly couldn't see yourself without them. With this person and you know you make each other better people, then you should try to work through whatever.

Hard work does seem like, well HARD WORK - to state the obvious; but there are benefits and massive perks to it all. TRUST ME. Working through all these challenges and obstacles together, as a team, as opposed to fighting separate battles. Which on serves to push you apart, if one of you "wins" you both lose... So becoming a team allows you to find a balance you ever knew you had, open your eyes to each other's flaws and imperfections with compassion, not judgment.  It makes you realize whether this is what you really want if this person is worth your effort. Then well it is pretty darn incredible. 

Just remember that as relationships develop and you both grow, so will the way you have to deal with situations, thus the work will never completely end. 

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

Life As It Stands | October 2019

When you don't write for a certain period of time, you find yourself not knowing what to say, let alone how to say it! To say I have had a lot going on is an understatement, and yes there are many other people in the world who are worse off than I am, some of whom I know personally. They take it on the chin and just get on with a smile on their face every freaking day!

That doesn't mean to say that whatever you or I are going through is any less important, I guess it just put's things into perspective. Last time I did a catch up, I did a catch up I hated my Job! I was in a bad place, that was causing me to have daily stress and to be perfectly honest battles with confidence due to bullying in the workplace. Yes I said it, I call it how it is. Being segregated in a room working on my own day in day out took it's toll too, I love working with people - having that banter in the male industry is one of the reasons I chose to come into it.

Though I have found that these days, with the change in politics and the way we views things people tend to be a little more sensitive. I mean come on, having to be careful about saying manhole and replacing it with personhole??? That's just getting a little too PC.

Anyway I digress, I have since started a new job, which seems to be a pretty welcoming and friendly environment. With from what I can grasp a very good boss, and how often can you say that! I feel as though my mind is valued, which is boosting my confidence tenfold. So where is the bad stuff you say? Well......

On my first day I never in my wildest dreams expected to see some one whom I had hoped to never see again to be perfectly honest, in a nut shell don't mix business with pleasure.. you may not get what you're expecting. I sure as hell didn't - the years since our time together I have found out that his temper to put it mildly was not just saved for me.

Not to mention being with someone who is tied to the Military is not as simple as it is made out to be. Being thrown curve ball after curve ball, has been the hardest part of the last month. Having to decide life changing decisions at an early stage and trying to break down walls built for the same reasons that I can completely comprehend; has been one heck of a challenge. Though you know what - in life you just have to pick your partner well. Work together as a team and fight anything that comes in that partnership, otherwise you will always be at loggerheads with one another and who wins then? No One!

The next few months are going to be hard as hell!!! I am not going to lie, but I have got so much planned that hopefully time will fly by.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

Dating Locally*

With the mass of nationwide dating sites, it is easier than ever to get yourself out there. The appeal to go as far as possible can be very strong, however, I guess you have to way the pros and cons of that actual situation. Especially with the whole catfish scenarios, talking to someone who is miles away with little chance of meeting often or at all - well is it really worth it. It would be a real shame to grow a connection with a virtual person, over a period of time to have the rug pulled right out from under you and find out they are nothing like what they described/ portrayed. 

For me when I started dating again I looked very close to home and stayed within my home town, which for some may be the best option. Whilst it may work for some to try and stay closer to home, what worked best for me was to look a little further away but still within driving distance, looking for a site such as Suffolk Dating Site, is perfect.

Personally, having lived in my hometown for the majority of my life the pool never really changed to be perfectly honest, I found the same old characters/ types of guys and I really needed to find someone out of my comfort zone. Away from the same group's people that all seem to know one another, somehow every guy I dated or started to talk too, knew someone in my life or from my past. Whilst that may be appealing to some, I needed a clean break, a fresh start that had no connection to anyone at all.

That's where sites such as Date in Suffolk can come in handy, sure they may be local to where you are but for someone else they may be just outside of their local, giving them and you the chance to find some new, free from local dramas and having a brand new outlook on life.  

It's all very well being able to have dates via. skype or facetime, but can you actually sit in silence together and be happy? Are you comfortable in their space? Having once been in a long-distance relationship, where I spent a year talking via skype to finally meet and find that there wasn't actually a proper connection physically.. well you can see how that could be pretty disappointing. 

The advantages of going more local, far out way just seeing what you can get from wherever it will come, that is if you are after a more serious relationship. Dating is difficult at the best of times, meeting someone you actually click with is such a rare thing these days and being able to regularly meet up to keep the connection strong is just as important as being able to be without each other. 

I love the fact that you get to explore each other's local area, showing each either around and giving the personal tour. The one that only you know about, the secret spots that you enjoy, you grew up going too; these are the types of things that can really get you talking and find out those little things about one another. 

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.