Over the last year and a half, I have been made to feel as though I am a very cold and heartless individual. Someone that can seem as though they walk around with their head held high above all others and look down their nose to look at all the lower individuals they believe to be beneath them.
Thankfully, I know for a fact that this is not true, this is NOT me and the people that truly know me for me know this too. In fact, they are the people that have made me come around, the ones that made me realize this to be true.
"Some People will never like you because your silence irritates their Demons"
Needless to say, I have acknowledged that whilst I know I am not a heartless bitch, I do have a tendency to not show my true self to people I may not trust or know. Thus, giving off a slightly chilly vibe, due to the wall created to protect me; staying quiet and only participating in conversation when absolutely necessary. Giving as little information about myself as possible.
People like me, who have been worn down and constantly let down one way or another. Have now taken the choice to cut people out, to choose who to be around, so when we meet new people it doesn't come easy to just let it all out and be completely free and open. Believe me, I have been working on it and am a lot more open than I was a year ago, however, there are times and places that I will be very reserved.
Depending on the situation, how others are interacting I may start to open up. Again, I will see how people react to the slight show of myself and if you react well, GREAT! If it turns nasty somehow,, as it seems to have done in one situation I have been subject too, I will go deeper into my shell. You will then be left to your own devices as to how to interpret me and for that, I guess I apologize. I apologize for your lack of integrity, because, we are all different and shouldn't be judged for our silence.
So sure, I understand it if you think I may be a dislikeable unfun person, give me time. Let me come out of my shell and show you who I really am, from my own experience those people are the best kind of people to have around. Okay, that sounded a little condescending and pig-headed, what I mean is that people who take their time to choose who they spend their time with, who they choose to show their true selves too are usually the most loyal and fun to be around.
Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.
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