In The Words of Frenchie & Me “The Only Man a Girl Can Depend on is Her Grand-daddy!”*

I have always loved Grease, and Frenchies words have never rung truer to me than in the last few years, where I have started to try dating again. Sure I have changed her words a little because well truth be told I have never had a father figure growing up and the only true man I have ever been able to rely on up until now has been my Granddad.

Frenchie: "Men are rats, listen to me, they're fleas on rats, worse than that, they're amoebas fleas on rats. I mean, they're too low for even the dogs to bite. The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy" 

Sure I know I sound a little bitter, however, this year has been tough. I know I am saying "I" a lot, but this is about me. I honestly do not know what it is but, what is it with people coming out of the woodwork and trying to crawl back into my life. 

Listen up, if I cut you out for whatever reason, mostly because you turned out to be a narcissistic neanderthal that couldn't handle the fact that I didn't sit next to you at a works meal... well head back to your cave where you belong. 

Whilst I have met most of the guys I have dated recently through work or other people, I am sure others may have had the same experience or maybe even better through online dating such as kent dating.  Though recently I was contacted by someone I met a few years back on site, having read through my blog he thought he would see whether I wanted to talk.

Me being me, I tried to see the good, after all, he had always been a decent guy with a good heart. Given all that I have been through I figured he wouldn't just contact me to let me down and hurt me, so it went from there and we had a fling I guess.

Having opened up to someone before and let myself truly feel for them, and have them come up with some utter bullshit about how his child's mum was going to be moving them to Ireland so he was not sure what to do.. well I am never too sure what to believe these days. Just to give you the full picture this guy works with my Mum, so yeah, I knew it was crap because he is still there working with my mum. If you don't want to see me anymore, just say dude!

So when this guy, started to come up with excuses as to why I hadn't heard from him and then come up with even more.. which I will not state out of respect, just in case they are real. Well, I just do not know what to believe, I want to trust him but given what I have been put through in the past it is extremely hard. Then to cut it off and say it would be best for the both of us, after contacting me knowing all that I have been through and have tried to overcome this year, well that is just downright cruel. 

I may appear unhinged at times, lost and glassed eyed with the depression and anxiety; but do not be fooled or mistake that for weakness because I am damn strong. A lot stronger than I have ever been, with every heartache and let down I will do my best to not let it harden me. Instead turn it into a lesson and make myself realise that it is their loss because I am god damn amazing!

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

Don't Forget About "Angela" When Dating This Christmas*

Whether you're out for a Christmas Party, out with friends or just simply meeting someone for the first time on a date, you always have to stay vigilant. Especially this time of year, when things can get out of hand fairly quickly with drinks flying around. Many people forget who they are and what they're doing, let alone their manners.

Meeting people on a whim, from tinder or off the internet is at an all-time high. Making it that much easy for those with bad intentions to prey on the kind-hearted. Especially these days it is ever so easy to create a false profile and lure someone into meeting you.

Just because you have met someone and started dating, be it through a friend, out and about or through a dating site such as dorset dating, it doesn't ever necessarily mean that they will always turn out to be who they portray themselves to be. Quickly turning nasty or forceful, even showing signs of jealousy and unwanted attention.

That's why "Ask for Angela" is such a great campaign and one that should be remembered at all times. It is actually a play on words, for the word Angel, meaning when you ask for "Angela" you are asking for help and a guardian angel.

Having started out as just a small campaign, this amazing idea has become widespread across the UK and more. Getting the attention from the like of the MET Office and Hollywood stars such as Ashton Kutcher!

This campaign is not just for women, it is for everyone, men can feel just as unsafe in a bad situation as women but they generally don't show it. With these 3 simple words, you could potentially be getting yourself out of a life-threatening or changing situation.

The phrase is now not limited to bar staff, most if not all members of staff in a public area will understand the severity of the situation and will help you out. DJ's and Bouncers, in particular, know the phrase well, though it may be understandable if you do not want to approach this in front of the date. Even so, you can always pretend you know them and you are just trying to see if your mate is there.

Once the staff is aware they will take you to a safer location in order to speak to you in confidence and offer to call a taxi for you or contact friends or family. The final solution is to ask the individual causing the distress to leave the venue. The main course of action is to remove you from harm and make you feel safe.

This Christmas be safe and ASK FOR ANGELA! Just remember though, if you are genuinely asking for Angela, let them know, you don't want to be whisked away when you want to see your friend. I mean that would be a funny story for sure but would be wasting a lot of people times.

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

Christmas Dating*

As Christmas looms closer and by that I mean we only have 8 days left!!! Yippee!! Yes, I do get rather excited, those that know me get a running countdown to my Birthday, then Christmas. Whether I am single or with someone, it doesn't make a blind bit of difference to me because I love it!! 

I will admit a few years back, I wasn't as excited as I am now, I did hit a slump and regressed to trying to either getting back into contact with my ex or just sulking on my own. No doubt those are the types of things that led me to where my mental health is now, anyway, that is all over and done with and I am more than happy on my own. Which I have to say is where anyone wanting to be in a happy relationship needs to start!

Right back on track, some singletons do find themselves hunting for a special someone, or for someone to have and hold at this time of the year. Whilst I would advise against that if you are just feeling low and needing a little comfort over the Christmas period because let's be honest it's probably not going to end well. Case and point me! Each to their own and all that.

If dating sites like bedfordshire dating are your cup of tea, then best to up your anty and spruce your profile. Be clear on what you want too if it's just a fling, be honest no one will hate you for it. Get rid of old photo's, those ones from 5, 10 years ago that do not represent who you are or what you look like now, trust me when you meet they may well feel as though they've been catfished.

Unless you are totally one of those people that are mad on Christmas such as me, do not go full cheese with Christmas lines or pick up's.

"Do you wanna be on my naughty list?"

"Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

"I didn't think I was a snowman, but you just made my heart melt."

Just NO! Okay!

If you do manage to bag yourself someone for Christmas, then don't pester them about their plans, we all have family and friends to see. The time will come when you both have time to see one another.

Another big thing people ponder on is presents..  well here are some guidelines I have whipped up...

The big general one I usually stick too, is to always have something on hand if you do genuinely really like the person.. if they then give you something then you have a present to give them in return. This is just personal preference though.

Dating less than a Month - Generally nothing, in most cases ladies it will scare off guys, they will see it as rushing into something. Guys also tend to not think about it especially at this stage.. it's early after all.

Dating 1-3 Months - You should both have a better feel for what each other's likes and hobbies are. You could go for an event day, spa day, DVD or a book. Nothing too extravagant or overboard.

Dating over 3 Months - By this point, you should have had the exclusivity conversation really, if so and you're both on the same page, then you can do what you want. You should certainly know way more about them and tailor it to them.

The choice is up to you, however, so just be prepared whichever way you go.

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

30 Before 30!!!!!!!

I contemplated whether or not to do a list of things to do before turning 30.. but then thought what the heck... why not give it a go! You only live once and hopefully, things are looking up for me so... Reading through many other peoples lists, I actually found that I have done a lot of things already! So I will have to do a post on that I think, for example, lived in another country or I have several tattoos and a dog. Hence, why I struggled with creating this list. So Happy 29th To ME!!!!

1. Visit Amsterdam.. 
I have always wanted to go.. my brother has said he would take me along for the ride many times but has failed to do so. Yet I know I will make the journey one way or another!

2. Go to Nashville! I love country music and going to the heart of it all would be incredible! Perhaps I could brush up on my line dancing skills before I go and then I won't look so silly if I try to join in in the clubs.

3. Write in a Journal for me. 
This one I have stop and started over the years, but it would be good to actually stick to it. I have always written it for someone else, having been in controlling relationships, I always felt as if I had to write in such a way that if they ever read it, that it would please them. Sad I know but true all the same.

4. Go for a Long Hike. One where I let Harley take me, she can guide the way and decide what directions we take. I have always wanted to let her guide me somewhere and see where we end up, so going somewhere unknown, in an open vast area would be great.

5. Gather my Gang and relive our youth. Spend a day going rollerskating or swimming, just being hooligans like we were back in high school.

6. Be better with Money. I have always been bad with my money. Never sticking to a solid budget and splurging all the time. Getting debts in order would be fantastic!

7. Go on a road trip, with Harley! Taking Harley away on a road trip around Europe, visiting amazing places and sites has always been a dream of mine. Seeing landscapes and finding the unknown via. walks and adventures are the way to go for me, plus Harley would love it!

8. Learn to cook more. I can cook don't get me wrong, but being able to cook more than the basic roast dinners and shepherds pie etc. would be good.

9. Travel with my Bestfriend? Not sure how viable this one is anymore.. Did have a plan to go to Disneyland Paris. Though, the bestie is pregnant now, so we shall have to see :P.

10. Get my fortune read. Never actually had this done before so would be kind of interesting.

11. Do something that scares me? I don't know much that scares me... this will be a tough one.. any suggestions?

12. Quit Smoking! 

13. Splurge on something that will last for years... though I cannot technically afford.. Who's thinking Mulberry Bag??? Just me? I could start saving now.. putting some money aside each month until I have enough.

14. Pay it Forward. On the odd occasion, I have had someone help me out where I haven't asked for it,. I will continue the chain of positive events by helping others out. For instance, I found someone's phone and got it back to them, refusing any reward.

15. Be Someone Else.. Let go and be someone else for a night, be wild! Do something outrageous!

via GIPHY

16. Try to learn something about Politics. I hate watching News, I hate anything to do with politics.. It drives me insane and it's all just depressing to be quite frank. That being said, being nearly 30, I should really learn about it. 

17. Get to know your Family History. This would be quite interesting considering I am dual National.. 

18. Learn Something New. Like Self-Defence or something, I rely too much on Harley being the one to defend me when we're out on our walks. 

19. Get My Harley Tattoo! I keep banging on about getting another tattoo, one that represents me & Harley. With her pawprint and something else that shows our bond, but I just haven't had the money to do it, so I will!

20. Actually, Experience a Sunset. I have never watched a sunset, sad I know! 

21. Stop Living for Social Media. Whilst I don't think I do so much now as I did in my early twenties, I think I could still drop it down.. Social Media is bad.. we live in a world where we have to tag, post and be on top of everything/ everyone all the time. I just don't get it, I don't particularly care what you have been up to all day or whether your child has gone to have their jabs. Unless I know you closely and ask.. I don't need a status update.. 

22. Indulge in your Guilty Pleasure. Don't appologise, just doit.. whether it be chick-flicks or snoozing for an afternoon, then binging on snacks. 

23. Learn more DIY Skills. 

24. Pick up an old Hobby. I would love to start sketching properly again. Like I did back at school.

25. Write a Letter to Me in X Years time. 

26. Be in More Photos! I take a lot of photos, however, I am not in many of them these days... so I vouch to try and be in more with the people I love. Here's to making more memories and capturing it!

27. Hopefully Still be Reigning Champion at Air Hockey! We shall find out tonight!!! I have never been beaten by my friends or family, though now I have a new group and another champion to face we shall see who comes on top!

28. Be more at Peace with Myself. After this Year, with my confession of suicidal thoughts and depression etc. I want to try to move on and focus more on the positives, be more at peace with myself and where I have come. 

29. Make a list of 40 before 40!

30. Fall In Love.. This could be a major fail but it had to go on, I mean as someone that has had a disaster and I mean we are talking full on bomb war zone type history. I think I deserve an epic type of love!

Let's see how many I can cross off before I actually turn the big 30!!!! 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

We Are A Generation of Wet Wipes!

I am sorry to say it and sorry if I offend you, but you have the choice to stop reading now, but we have become a generation of snowflakes & wet wipes! Seriously, when did we have to coddle every single thing we say, hear, write, see and do.. let alone pre-existing sayings and so on.

Things are getting out of hand people, on one hand, I understand where some are coming from trying to get across the whole women's equal pay and rights. Yes, that is something that should have been corrected way before 2018! The thing is when you start talking about phasing out phrases such as "bringing home the bacon" and "flogging a dead horse" because vegans are becoming more and more on the rise. Well, that is just plain stupid in my opinion.

If you're going to go down that route of 'cruelty-free verbal language' and be so petty as to say we want vegan free wording, so change it to "bringing home the bagels". Well, I as a COELIAC, do NOT approve, bagels are offensive to me. I mean how do I know these bagels are gluten-free?

Why not change it to something as outrageous as "bringing home the bus fare" ??

Please also explain to me how changing "Be the Guinea Pig" to "Be the test tube" is any less offensive or idiotic? How does that teach children any sense about the world? In a way, you're teaching them more about being a test subject than anything else?? Honestly, some of the swap suggestions are just plain ridiculous and how anyone can be 'offended' is beyond me. I mean "Let the cat out of the bag" is a good one for Vegans isn't it? It's teaching us to let the cats out of the bag and not put them in them?

Don't even get me started on GINGERBREAD MEN! Which are now called Gingerbread Persons, I believe, though I am sure it won't be long before we have some ridiculous phrase such as, Gender Neutral Gingerbread Persons.

In January, the British Medical Association advised members that mothers-to-be should be referred to as ‘pregnant people’ to avoid offence and ‘celebrate diversity’. - This .. I am just dumbfounded.. need I say more!

I completely understand that some people or persons, whatever, don't want to be called or identified as one gender or another. The thing is though, why should we all have to stop saying he or she, them or whatever; it is just getting a little too confusing and just outright ridiculous to say the least. Please don't get me wrong, I am not a biggot or whatever you call people who have hatred for those who are transgender, gay or gender neutral; hell I have stood up against people that have said anything even a little unkind towards them. All I am saying is that if those that want us as he's or she's to stop identifying them like that, then fine, but why should we be subjected to not being allowed to identify as what we want all the same? Do you see why things are getting out of hand here? 

Just let people be who they want to be, identify as who they want to be and leave it at that. Stop trying to tell everyone what to say and what not to say. It's a free world, yes I get there are some things that shouldn't really be said, however, that's never really going to change and the only thing you can change is how you react to it. 

Stop being offended, stop being a wet wipe and just realise that others opinions and views don't always matter. If someone won't call you what you want to identify as then stop speaking to them. They aren't worth your time, but if I want to say "My Gingerbread MAN is bringing home the BACON" I am going to god damn well say it. OKAY!

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

November LookBack 2018

November was pretty jam-packed, with my Nan's 81st Birthday and Harley's 5th; not forgetting the build-up to my besties wedding on the 1st of December! I wonder what December will have in store for me. 

Birthdays

Harley's Birthday was pretty fun, not alot of people believed me when I said I was going to have a Birthday Pawty for her at the Brewdog in Norwich. Those that knew me well had no doubts and came along for the ride, so yes it was me, Harley and 5 other Humans. Harley loved her cake, dog beer (aptly called The Sub-woofer), however, she wasn't too pleased about wearing a hat. All in all, she had a great Pawty!

Looking back to when she was just a few months old to now, you almost cannot believe the size difference. 

My Nan's birthday was a little less mental, we just did something different to the usual afternoon tea trip and went on a steam train ride up to Wroxham for the day. It was actually Harley's first ever time on a train and she was loving it, getting to sit on the seat (as instructed to do so by my nan) and sticking her nose out of the window for all the smells. 

Events

Whilst the fireworks display myself & Christie attended may have been at the end of October, I thought I would fit it in here. It was a great day catching up with her, getting her dress fitted, doing another wedding day make-up test and most of all having someone to listen to me. That wasn't the only special part of the night, it was also Harley's first time to a Fireworks display, whilst I wouldn't say she loved it. Once we were a suitable distance away she was quite happy to stand and allow us to watch. Considering she usually gets annoyed when fireworks wake her up, if they even wake her up at all that is.

Mental Health

In all honesty, I have had better days, having taken some hits from unsuspected sources. I found myself right back to where I started, the only solace this time is that I didn't keep it bottled up and actually spoke to those around me. Which has helped me greatly in getting my mood and mindset back on track.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

Having Those Dark Thoughts Again?!

Sure it's easy to say pull yourself out of it, snap out of it. You have lots to live for and plenty of people around you, blah blah blah. The usual mumbo jumbo, but the thing is when you're in that frame of mind it can be ever so hard to see any of that, no matter how genuine and heartfelt someones words may be.

After months of counseling and honestly feeling so much better, brighter and happier in myself; never did I think that I would have fallen back to where I started. Back to having these thoughts again.
Yes I know I am confessing to having them pretty much straight after the fact, but, hopefully, that is progress in one sense and in another well I know for a fact I can't do a damned thing about it if everyone I know knows about what I am potentially thinking. Not that I actually think I would, but you get the point I am trying to make. Talk to people, write it down get it out of your head, that helps so much.

Over the past month or couple of months, I have been spiraling back down a rabbit hole. Trying desperately to crawl my way back to the light with no avail. One thing after another has piled on top, creating a snowball effect as it were and this weekend was just the tip of the iceberg that broke me.

If you read my last post, you will know that I love going to agility and felt such support and kindness there. It was a great place for me to go and get out once a week, also a chance for me to bond and train with Harley. A couple of Fridays ago, however, was a different story entirely. I was confronted with such an unwelcome feeling and emotions that left me with no other option than to leave the class and go home. Having been told that I need to seek professional help for my dog, due to people being concerned for the welfare of their dogs and my dog causing disruption with her barking.

This all coming out of the blue, with no trigger whatsoever, nothing was any different to any other night. All dogs get excited at classes such as that, they bark and run around, sure she is a big dog with a heck of a bark. Yet that shouldn't matter, she is just a dog at the end of the day and I have her under control. Either way, after years of training there and all the nice supportive things they have said, for it to all be turned around and basically tell me to leave and get Harley help. I just couldn't believe it or stand it. I felt so small and unwanted.

That all being said I know that it be okay in the end, I have got some amazing friends and people around me. I am being much more open about how I am feeling right off the bat, rather than; letting it boil up inside. Come the New Year I will find a new training group and get our schedule back on track again, hopefully, this time without any bitchy people around. If all else fails, then I will make my own equipment and train her myself.

Trousers: H&M
Boots: Primark
Top: Brave Soul

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.