Granted when you're feeling low, going through a patch where you can feel yourself spiraling back into that dark place again. It can be ever so hard to stay positive, to keep going; little things slip up like my housework for instance. It's those little things that are a constant reminder of how those around you don't always seem to realise that though, you may put on a brave face, inside you're struggling to keep going.
With recent events happening in my personal life, where one family member has been taken ill, now needing a heart transplant, however, unfortunately, is in another country. I have once again had to step up and be the strong individual that sorts out how certain members can contact him and so on. Whilst I myself, do not know how I feel about his situation, for one reason or another, I cannot deny that I am sad and have much sorrow in my heart for those that are deeply affected by it all.
I am just brought back to times where I have had to put myself on the back burner and put everyone else's needs before my own, purely because others aren't willing or able to pick up the slack. In no way am I saying that I shouldn't care or stay true to myself and carry on doing what I feel is right, but it would be nice for someone else to take charge. Allowing me to actually feel, grieve and mourn; lean on someone, rather than being the totem pole for everyone else.
On the positive side when you do find support and kindness in the unlikeliest of places it can be both heartwarming and overwhelming. If you are a regular reader, you will know that I take Harley, my dog, training and my trainers have been ever so supportive to me. From just pushing me to keep going and overcome struggles with Harley, to just kind words, they truly are a silver lining in my life.
One thing that was said to me that will forever stay in my heart was -
"You're an amazing girl and you never give up."
They say how proud of me they are when I do what is best for Harley, are so happy that I never ever give up on her despite the trials she puts me through. I am always around to help out at any event I can attend, and having that level of support is truly special to me.
Finding new friends, that have shown me kindness and reliability has been a real learning curve for me too. Having so many trust issues in that department, having people there that I can truly count on is a big step to trusting again. Not only that but to have people willing to do that, that have just known me for a short while, must say something about me as an individual. Something, I have to work on is being more positive about myself and not talk down to myself.
You have to remember that you are,
"Kind, Caring, Trusting, Worth it, Strong and Brave"
It's always about finding the little things, no matter how small that make your days that little bit brighter. No matter how low I get I know that I can switch on my phone and spy on my dog at home, that always makes me feel safe and happy. I also know that no matter what I can call my bestie and she will be there no matter what, no matter how small my slump may be she will help me see the light.
Having true friends and support are key and recognising that is a huge step to getting better too.
Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.
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